Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Attachment Issues

I am reading a book about coping with adopted children who have attachment issues. According to the author, children adopted before 7 months old are the least likely to develop issues later in life because the attachment bond is still forming until that age. Infants adopted by their forever families who are 8-12 months of age when being placed have difficulties, especially if they were living in a foster home since birth because they think the foster mom is their mom. Children older than one year have the most problems, many developing years later, in the school years.

Now that Izzy is 7 months old I'm very concerned about how she will handle being ripped from the only home she's known and given to complete strangers.

The doctors who wrote the book say the best way to deal with initial attachment issues is to have no one other than the adoptive parents hold, feed or change the child for one week for every month old the child is. Is that realistic? According to the so called experts, no one other than Kevin or I should hold Izzy for at least 8 weeks (that's if we get her while she's 8 months old, 9 weeks or more if the process continues to drag on).

I'm not sure how to handle this and will be talking with our pediatrician and family psychologist to get their takes on the subject.

P.S. If anyone would like to email us without posting a comment on this blog, reach us at


JK said...


bruce said...

Good Luck, God Bless and she is beatiful. The very best of luck to two wonderful and deserving people.

Anonymous said...

I think you'll feel better once you talk to the Pediatrician and Psychologist. But from our experience, I along with MANY other people held Mikayla within a few days of her coming home. She was 18 months old, had no clue who I was or anyone else, and she seems to be a normal 7 year old without any attachment problems. I'm obviously not a Psychologist or anything, but she seems to be fine. Also, Jen would probably tell you that Jenna and JJ have both done fine and they were both past the 8 month mark when they came home. I know that the grandparents held JJ right at the airport. But you and Kevin have to decide what's right for you to do. I would talk to your doctors and don't just take the advice of one author. She'll be fine!

Diane Brezo said...

Hi Jennifer,
I'm sorry I haven't been to your site for awhile but have gone through the whole site just now and love all of the pictures. I want to say I have to agree with Chelsea's comments on Izzy's homecoming and the book you have read concerning the problems that may occur. I believe that you and your family will give little Izzy so much love she will probably wonder where you've been all of her life!
I also wanted to ask you if your work gives you leave to spend time with her when she does finally come home. If so, this will be that perfect time for your bonding to begin with her. It's so very hard for you I can't even imagine it. I am feeling very anxious for you myself.
I also read your profile and saw that one of your favorite singing groups is Mercy Me. They are mine as well. As a matter of fact I was just listening to their CD on the way home from work this morning!